so here i am sitting up on my bed at 5 in the morning pretending i dont have to be up in less than 3 hours. i cant sleep though. All this tossing and turning is just not working for me. i even considered popping some nyquils, but then i dont want to be dependent on them. my sister told me that people who cannot sleep have a lot on their mind and that i should write down my thoughts and ill sleep at ease. let's hope this works:
all i can think about is shoes. yes, it may sound superficial but i wish i could buy every shoe that i loved in the world. oh and you know what doesnt help?
- having a laptop handy whenever something pops up in your mind and you google it.
- ondemand anything. including dvr. luckily i have caught up with what i need to catch up on.
- twitter: i swear i feel like i need to refresh it all the time even if i know its fucking 4am and people sleep.
- online window shopping. as if i am not in enough debt as it is. i feel like i have to have everything and anything.
- thinking about a book that i need to read by next week. oh and the online midterm that is also due next week.
- money doesn't grow on trees.
- NEW YORK is expensive. but i need to be there
- my phone blinking and i HAVE to see whats making it blink.
- the fact that the non profit i am trying to volunteer at is not contacting me even if i have tried to contact them
- online classes should have never been invented. lack of motivation and discipline.
- i really want to look into designing shoes. i think there is a market that is completely ignored.
- how dependent i am on the mall. which reminds me i have to find something to wear for taras unless i wear what i already have. dont you hate when you KNOW you have clothes that you havent even worn and you always seem to NEVER have anything to wear.
- being unemployed. this is my first time in a long time that i havent worked. life is fun but im suffering from fundsalow.
- the 8578957489789302 pages i have to read for my criminal justice class.
- my methodolgy teacher thinks shes so funny, too bad shes not. her sarcastic remarks are tired and she is not helpful.
- law schoool.
- i need a vacation. Though i am unemployed, this is the most stressed out i have been EVER. Who knew just being a full time student was harder than being both a fulltime worker and student.
- why i would rather spend whatever i have on useless materialistic things rather than save.
- OH my lack there of a savings account.
- 528 pgs to read / 5 days = about 100 pages a day
alright, so i let it all out. let's hope this works.
peace
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